Tension?

Tension:

I was in tension since three days till yesterday. This started when I received a phone call from a reputed company asking my availability for an interview. How can I not be in tension after being at home for nine months and zero bank balance? This call was my dream; in fact, it was what I was waiting for all these months. I don’t think this tension is wrong, it is genuine. I don’t live alone; I am a family man with wife and two children. I must meet their (at least) minimum demands as a father and husband.

Yesterday at 5:40pm (Indian time) everything was over. It was like the silence after a storm. I was at terrible peace and happiness. Excuse me; did I say “Peace”? Yes, it was then I started to think. “Pease” it is a wonderful gift or feeling that comes from GOD. “Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid” (John 14:27). Then, why was I in tension? What could be the possible reasons? I started to examine my thoughts.

Reasons:

I was in tension because I was worried if I go through the interview (Fear), and if I don’t, I was worried of the monthly expenses I have to face (Again Fear). I was so curious to have this job as I thought it is the best I could have (Greed) and if I don’t I will be disappointed (disappointment). Last but not the least, I was worried of the shame of failure. What shame does it make; then I realized that it was my arrogant mentality that led me feel shame.

So my real problem was not tension but worry, fear, curiosity, greed, disappointment, shame and arrogance. My GOD! I have seven reasons for a tension.

The Promise:

Few days or a week before yesterday, GOD spoke to me clearly when I was worried, saying – “Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have summoned you by name; you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you. When you walk through the fire, you will not be burned; the flames will not set you ablaze.  For I am the LORD, your God, the Holy One of Israel, your Savior” (Isaiah 43:1-3).

I forgot The Promise when I had to hold tight and doubted. I even doubted whether GOD really spoke to me. I always pray for GOD’s will to come upon me but when the time came, I was forcing GOD to bring his will in my frame.

This is my study on the tension I experienced yesterday. Hope you all have yours. Remember what Jesus said; “Peace I leave with you; My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Do not let your heart be troubled, nor let it be fearful” (John 14:27). “And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus” (Philippians 4:7).